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A fertility expert is concerned that the new Netflix documentary The Man With 1000 Kids could inspire “desperate” women to seek out unofficial sperm donors like Jonathan Jacob Meijer.
Claire Innes told The Independent the documentary could open women’s eyes to the availability of sperm donors through unofficial – and potentially unsafe – routes, such as social media, in the face of expensive fertility treatments.
Meijer, 43, who has admitted to having 550 children, was the subject of the documentary which saw those affected by his actions group together to have him banned from donating.
As detailed in the documentary, the 2023 ban will see him fined €100,000 if he donates, but he has insisted to The Independent that he stopped donating of his own accord back in 2019.
Innes, a fertility mentor, said she has seen a significant rise in women seeking out unofficial donors amid the cost of living crisis.
She said: “I think a lot of women/families will be shocked and put off by the Netflix documentary, but I can also see a world where vulnerable women who are desperate for a child actually learn more about the sketchy routes.”
The London Sperm Bank charges £1,250 for a single vial of sperm, but as revealed in the documentary, there are hundreds of men willing to inseminate women for free – often requesting natural insemination “NI” methods only, claiming that it will increase the chances of conception.
While Innes said she does not know any women “who have specifically worked with Mr Meijer”, his actions have caused those who have sought out sperm through less official channels to fear “the intention of their donors”.
“I know several women who have acquired or purchased sperm through less official channels who are now questioning the intention of their donors and whether their children have siblings that they a) don’t know about and b) can’t trace.
“It’s a very worrying situation indeed. The really sad part is that by the time a woman gets to the point of researching donors, she has probably already been through quite a bit of trauma and heartache such as infertility, [and] miscarriages, and there is often a feeling of ‘I’ll try anything’.
“All she wants is her little baby and it doesn’t occur to her to ask more in-depth questions.”
She has now shared her advice for anyone considering using a sperm donor, stressing the advantages that come with official sperm banks.
Innes told The Independent: “Although the Netflix documentary has shown that mass donors can still get around their rules, sperm banks do have very strict rules about the number of children each individual can father so using a sperm bank will offer some, if not complete, comfort in respect to the number of half-siblings your child might have.”
However, Innes acknowledged that not everyone can afford to spend thousands and has suggested taking several precautions if using an unofficial donor like those profiled in The Man With 1000 Kids.
“Beware of anyone, at all, who encourages or suggests natural insemination,” she advised. “This is the original red flag and is a clear-cut case of men exploiting your vulnerability.
“Explore asking men you know for donations. They can only say no, but they might say yes.”
Innes also advised meeting with any potential donor in person with a friend or partner for moral support so you can get an idea of their character – and to insist on an STI test.
The fertility expert added: “Ask him if he has any children, how many donations he has made and if/when he plans to stop. Of course, he might lie, but don’t let that stop you asking.”
She stressed that while many women are conscious of their biological clock, choosing a donor “could be the biggest decision you ever make so try not to rush it”.
“Enquire whether he will want to be in the baby’s life in the future and only continue if you are absolutely comfortable with his response. Also enquire if he would be comfortable helping you to conceive siblings,” she added.
Innes advised familiarising yourself with the legality of using a donor in whatever country you live in and the parental rights which will exist on both ends. It is also a good idea to understand a person’s motivation for donating.
Sex expert Isabelle Uren, of the BedBible, told The Independent that she believes serial sperm donors like Meijer are likely motivated by a desire for power.
“Kinks and fetishes are about sexual arousal and gratification, and the impression I get from the limited information I have is that this case is driven by other motives, such as power, and fueled by the ego-driven desire to pass along genetics to as many children as possible and prove virility,” she said.
Mejer, who was accused of having as many as 3,000 children, told The Independent that he made the decision to stop donating “very, very consciously” and is happy to no longer be doing it.
“I have my freedom back,” he said. “[I spent] 50,000 hours over 17 years being a donor. Travelling and jerking in bathrooms isn’t really charming after so many times.”
The Independent has reached out to Netflix for comment.
Source: independent.co.uk
